Locked Out!

It is important to understand that the comings and goings of a typical work week here at dysfunctional central, include office personnel inhabiting the office from 5:30 AM to 7:00 PM. Weekends include random visits from those employed for any and all reasons, sometimes even work. It is very seldom that our owner/founder, lets just call him Boss Man, does not show up one of the days, let alone both of them. This past weekend he found himself in a bit of pickle.

After arriving Sunday about mid morning, plugging in his phone and setting his keys on his desk, the Boss Man makes a quick trip back out to his truck to retrieve his i-pod, unfortunately locking the door behind him. Now, this little mishap may detour the common Joe, however engineers are a crafty species. After checking all available doors that may be unlocked, the Boss Man finds a small window about seven feet off the ground that is conveniently unlocked. No problem he thinks, he will just climb up on top of the air conditioning unit, remove the storm window and enter the building by means of squeezing through.

This is the part where we have to stop so I can explain something. For one, the Boss Man is not a wimpy little guy who has made a career of just slipping in through unsuspecting windows. And two, the window trying to be slipped into is not is not your average viewing window, but a window that is just about the same size as the Boss Mans shoulders.

Okay, back to the story. Still unable to position himself in such a manner that he could jump through the window head first, the Boss Man found a chair on the porch and stacked it on top of the air conditioning unit. I know what you are thinking and you are right. With the grace of a bull in a china shop, he managed his way on top of the A/C unit and then up on to the chair. Now, five feet off the ground and teetering on the chair, his chances of entering the seven foot high window were much better.

In one fluid motion (I am picturing a blind man threading a needle) the Boss Man dives through the opening of the window as if diving into a lake. Forcing his arms and shoulders through the opening he stuck himself in the hole of the window, arms and shoulders in, butt and legs out. (This is the part I wish I would have seen) Legs kicking and arms flailing, he managed to turn himself partially onto his side while in the window hole, and finagle one leg through the upper most corner of the window, leaving one leg and his butt for the viewing of the passers. With one leg through, he now had to start rearranging office partitions and what not in an effort to not completely destroy the interior of the building when he landed. Finally, with a last effort and a little help from gravity, he toppled in through the window and was back inside the building. Within seconds of his entrance, another employee (Bucky) calmly unlocked the front door and walked through.

The amazing part of this to me is this. Our office is located on one of the busiest streets in our town. How this fifteen minute ordeal could take place in view of everyone without anyone calling the police or causing a ten car pile up is beyond me.