Update

The fine people (ok, person) at rosiethewonder dog has kindly requested an update. My apologies to anyone and everyone I have left hanging. So, without further ado, I am posting an update to all the unfinished happenings at Dysfunctional Office.

Paris & the IUD
I am happy to report that the IUD is firmly in place. This was a great relief to Paris as well as the Virgin. The Virgin seems to be getting along well after the incident. Counseling has helped, and the nightmares are fewer and farther between. Maybe someday he will be able to make eye contact with a woman again! Paris is not taking any chances, though, and has instructed her boyfriend to wear BCG's. For those of you who don't know, these are military issued glasses which the enlisted dub "birth control glasses" because they are so unattractive (my apologies to anyone who is currently sporting a pair).

My Hamburger
Maybe my hesitance in posting an update is because this is still a rather sensitive subject for me to talk about. Last I wrote, Paris had received an anonymous tip that my prime suspect was, indeed, the culprit. All I needed for the situation to be rectified was a new hamburger, which I'm sad to report, I have not received. It doesn't need to be a Hudson Hamburger, even, as I'm quite hooked on the Wendy's Spicy Baconator. Still, every day my desk is void of any meat products.

The Cat
For the most part, Wide Load is leaving me alone. He has a tendency to torture one person at a time and it seems my time has passed. He has been paying special attention to the Virgin lately, so hopefully there will be a post involving Wide Load and the Virgin in the near future.

While there has been plenty of unpostable drama here, blog-worthy events have been a little slow. Maybe now would be a good time for Idaho to tell a story from Dysfunctional-Office Past. There really is an bottomless pool to draw from here, so like a little kid who likes to hear a story over and over again, I will put out my plea to Idaho - Tell the story of Bucky and lost lost wheel, please, please please!