OK, I know I just posted something a few hours ago. And, by posting again so soon, it may appear as though I do nothing at my job all day. But, some stories are just too important to let go without being told.
This morning, Bucky arrives at work and speaks to me. He hasn't spoken a word to me since he stole my hamburger. Oh, well, he did speak to me once a week or so ago when he tried to tell me that I have no business giving people a hard time for complaining about stuff when I am Dysfunctional Office's number one complainer. I told him I might dish it out, but at least I could take it. Unlike him. That shut him up fast and he hasn't spoken to me since. Until this morning.
This morning Bucky walks right up to me and wants to know what time Shaggy arrived at the office yesterday. As I arrive at 6 a.m., I'm usually the first one here. I told Bucky we both arrived at the same time. Then he wanted to know if I ACTUALLY saw Shaggy drive into the parking lot. I told Bucky I really wasn't paying attention. I had other things on my mind, such as my vacation countdown. So here is what happened:
Bucky bought a new road bike over the weekend. So, of course, the first thing anyone does when they buy a new bicycle is bring it into their office to store it. Bucky has his wages garnished and always has creditors calling here looking for him, but somehow he came up with the money to buy a new bike. As he told me this morning "You of all people know how serious I am about my ironman training." First off, I don't know how serious he is about it and secondly, I don't care. But, that is neither here nor there. Back to the facts.
He brings his brand new sparkling perfect $800 bike into the office to store. Monday was Cinco De Mayo so he goes out drinking after work and comes back to Dysfunctional Office at 8:00. Don't ask me why, but I'm starting to suspect he is living here again. That's right, I said again. Sometime between 8:00 Monday night and 6:00 Tuesday morning, someone took his precious bike for a joy ride and wrecked it.
Bucky suspects Shaggy and thinks he got to work around 5:30 am rode the bike, wrecked the bike, then sat in his car until I arrived so it looked like we got there at the same time and I would be his alibi.
Now, Bucky realizes there is nothing he can do at this point. His bike is wrecked and he is just going to have to accept that. All he asks is that Shaggy come clean about his crime. Just be a man and fess up already. I told Bucky I knew how important it was for someone to come clean why they have wronged another person in the office. Do you think Bucky took that opportunity to come clean with me? Do you? Do you really? No, of course he didn't. He has more important matters on his mind.
Now, he is trying really hard not to be paranoid about this but either Shaggy is to blame or someone broke into the office in the middle of the night and wrecked his bike. My theory is Bucky had a bit too much cerveza on Cinco De Mayo and wrecked it himself.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
GD 15K
For anyone who watches The Office, perhaps the title of this post looks a bit familiar?
Sunday was the "big race" Bloomsday. For some godforsaken reason, this race is HUGE. 60,000 or so people show up to race this 15K (7.5 miles). I don't get what all the hubub is about (is this how hubub is spelled? I've said it, but never actually written it out before. I never had a reason until now.) Anywho, Dysfunctional Office sponsored two teams (10 people) for the race. If you have a corporate sponsor, you get to be up towards the front of the start line, right behind the Kenyans. That is the only thing that makes this race worthwhile to me. It requires getting up early, driving 20 minutes to the mall, then hopping a bus and riding for another 20 minutes to the start line. A whole lot of effort for a Sunday morning, if you ask me.
The day before was my birthday and Idaho and I had no intention of letting the GD 15K get in the way of my birthday party. We drank gin and tonics and ate nachos along with the rest of my family. So, when Sunday morning rolled around, the last thing I was in the mood for was Bloomsday.
We had some last minute subsitutions as Paris Hilton's mom had her finger bitten off by her dog and wasn't able to babysit Paris' baby. Mini-Idaho was able to jump in at the last minute. It was fun having Mini-Idaho there, but I was a bit disappointed that Paris and her secret training wouldn't be able to take down those in the office that treat a whimpy GD 15K like it is the Olympics and that there is actual prize money riding on this event.
As those of us that were having second thoughts about the whole event casually strolled to the start line, the dysfunctional competitors pushed there way up to the front to start with the always-favorite Kenyans and other speed demons.
The gun goes off and 60,000 people start pushing there way through the downtown streets. People are screaming and pumping their fists, while I'm thinking maybe those leftover nachos that sat on my kitchen counter all night weren't the best breakfast choice. Those with a point to prove were quickly separated from the rest of us. The Virgin and I stuck together. We had a game plan. We would stop at every aid station, we would listen to every band along the way, and if a cute girl happened to run past us, I would be sure to tell her that the Virgin was available. The only thing missing from our perfect plan was money for an ice cream bar and a beer along the way. This is something I will need to remember for next year.
So, in the end we all fared well. Those who pushed themselves to the limit ended up with the same exact t-shirt and slice of pizza as the rest of us, so I guess I don't see the point.
Then, we had Monday to look forward to. Where we knew we would have to listen to the annoying ones re-hash every step of the race, spew out there minutes per mile for each mile, and hobble around complaining about how sore they were from pushing their bodies to the brink and living to tell the tale.
I couldn't have picked a better time for a vacation. I'm ready to get away from Dysfunctional Office for a couple of weeks!
Sunday was the "big race" Bloomsday. For some godforsaken reason, this race is HUGE. 60,000 or so people show up to race this 15K (7.5 miles). I don't get what all the hubub is about (is this how hubub is spelled? I've said it, but never actually written it out before. I never had a reason until now.) Anywho, Dysfunctional Office sponsored two teams (10 people) for the race. If you have a corporate sponsor, you get to be up towards the front of the start line, right behind the Kenyans. That is the only thing that makes this race worthwhile to me. It requires getting up early, driving 20 minutes to the mall, then hopping a bus and riding for another 20 minutes to the start line. A whole lot of effort for a Sunday morning, if you ask me.
The day before was my birthday and Idaho and I had no intention of letting the GD 15K get in the way of my birthday party. We drank gin and tonics and ate nachos along with the rest of my family. So, when Sunday morning rolled around, the last thing I was in the mood for was Bloomsday.
We had some last minute subsitutions as Paris Hilton's mom had her finger bitten off by her dog and wasn't able to babysit Paris' baby. Mini-Idaho was able to jump in at the last minute. It was fun having Mini-Idaho there, but I was a bit disappointed that Paris and her secret training wouldn't be able to take down those in the office that treat a whimpy GD 15K like it is the Olympics and that there is actual prize money riding on this event.
As those of us that were having second thoughts about the whole event casually strolled to the start line, the dysfunctional competitors pushed there way up to the front to start with the always-favorite Kenyans and other speed demons.
The gun goes off and 60,000 people start pushing there way through the downtown streets. People are screaming and pumping their fists, while I'm thinking maybe those leftover nachos that sat on my kitchen counter all night weren't the best breakfast choice. Those with a point to prove were quickly separated from the rest of us. The Virgin and I stuck together. We had a game plan. We would stop at every aid station, we would listen to every band along the way, and if a cute girl happened to run past us, I would be sure to tell her that the Virgin was available. The only thing missing from our perfect plan was money for an ice cream bar and a beer along the way. This is something I will need to remember for next year.
So, in the end we all fared well. Those who pushed themselves to the limit ended up with the same exact t-shirt and slice of pizza as the rest of us, so I guess I don't see the point.
Then, we had Monday to look forward to. Where we knew we would have to listen to the annoying ones re-hash every step of the race, spew out there minutes per mile for each mile, and hobble around complaining about how sore they were from pushing their bodies to the brink and living to tell the tale.
I couldn't have picked a better time for a vacation. I'm ready to get away from Dysfunctional Office for a couple of weeks!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
